Friday, July 30, 2010

It is so hard to live by faith...

The title of this blog is a direct quote from my best friend, Miley. The other day we were having a conversation about where we are in life right now. It has been on my mind all week. Honestly, I have a lot on my heart today and am having a really hard time getting anything out.

I guess I feel like being personal today =) To try and put things in words- I am a planner, a list maker, a "concrete sequential" to the core. To be patient and wait on the Lord to reveal his plans is hard for me. I hate admitting that but it's true. I like to know what's next- where we are going to be, what we are going to be doing, etc. I feel like something BIG is coming... but I have no clue what it is. We keep telling God that we are open- to an adventure, missions, new places, new jobs, WHATEVER he wants us to do. I honestly feel like he is going to take us up on that because I feel it. I just want to know. I will be graduating in December and I want to teach as soon as I can after that. But do I want to teach here? In the ghetto of New York? In South America? I don't KNOW! I want to do it ALL and I wanna know NOW! I have been so consumed with wanting to figure things out and get the ball rolling that I forgot that it's really not up to me.

Basically, Miley summed it up. It IS hard to live by faith but it is essential because without it we will drive ourselves crazy. God did not intend for us to know our futures or we would already know them.

I was being whiny and spilled all of this to my brother-in-law this morning and he shared with me some points that Pastor Larry Grays shared last night at church. I mean if this timing wasn't perfect....

1) WHO you are is more important than WHERE you are. I seem to have lost sight of this awhile ago because all I have been focusing on is where we are gonna be, etc. etc. What am I doing for the Lord to prepare for wherever we end up? Not much to be honest...

2) There are choices and tradeoffs.

3) It's not just about me. Ummm whoa! Because I am pretty sure I have been acting like it is. What about God? Or my husband? Or my family? Or my future family?

4) God's things come to those who wait. Yea forgot about this too... I need to take a breather, chill out, pray, continue to SEEK, and wait. Simple as that.

5) God's grace is greater than our struggles. In reality, this struggle I am going through is so small and insignificant compared to the grace God shows as we wait upon Him.

So, thanks to the insight of my bestie and my brother-in-law, I have realized how selfish I am, how powerful God is, and how perfect His plan will be for us when he reveals it.



  1. I'm with you 100%. I like to know and we had ours all planned out, but guess what? Look where we are and was this in my plan. Uh, no!! So thanks for the reminder because I worry everyday about our future. So I will follow your lead and "Be Still" and "Wait" And "Know that He is God." Love you, mom

  2. I just love you so much! Your blog is a beuatiful reflection ofthe woman you are = amazing. Love, Miley

  3. What a blessing you are, Haley Ryan!!! I love reading about your journey and your transparency is refreshing:) Thought you might like this, taken from a favorite devotional book,Streams In the Desert, by LB Cowman. "Abraham 'did not know where he was going'--it simply was enough for him to know he went with God. He did not lean as much on the promises as he did on the Promiser. In no way is it enough to set out cheerfullly with God on any venture of faith. You must also be willing to take your ideas of what the journey will be like and tear them into tiny pieces, for nothing on the itinerary will happen as you expect. Your Guide will not keep to any beaten path. He will lead you through ways you would never have dreamed your eyes would see. He knows no fear and He expects you to fear nothing while He is with you.This is the blessed life--not anxious to see far down the road nor overly concerned about the next step, not eager to choose the path nor weighted down with the heavy responsibilities of the future, but quietly following the Shepherd, one step at a time." "By faith, Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he waas going." Sounds like you are staying close to the Shepherd and taking one step at a time:) Hang in there...God is good..He will never leave us our forsake us! Love you, Wanda Akin